Monster
by Kangaeru
Summary: Just a copy, Lawliet...You and I...our hands are equally stained...' the blood eyed man drug a scarlet finger down the wall, a trail of wine coloured liquid tailed as the digit left." rated M for violence, incest yaoi L/BB mild L/Light, re-named!
1. Equal

I love L/BB :D personally, i think theyre brothers, but that opinion wouldnt work in this story :( so im goin with a L/BB pairing on this :D I was listeing to the songs: 'Whispers in the Dark' by Skillet, 'Lies' by Evanescnece, 'Animal I have Become' by Three Days Grace, 'Getting Away with Murder' by Papa Roach, and! 'Killer likes Candy' & 'Dark Carnival of the Immaculate' by I am Ghost :D the song lyrics in the begining of this are 'How can I live' by Ill Nino :) all of these are awsome songs :) sorry I havent updated in a long time, been kinda busy...now, tell me what you think! I live on reviewslike L does sugar! :O (and Light on hair gel, but thats another subjuct, beg pardon my spelling)

I own nothing!!! D': sadly...

* * *

Lies to the copy but from the mouth of death

"_I am so alike you,_

_in so many ways._

_I know I'm just a copy,_

_that carries on the stain..."_

"Just a copy, Lawliet...You and I...our hands are equally stained..." the blood eyed man drug a scarlet finger down the wall, a trail of wine coloured liquid tailed as the digit left. His raven hair scruffy, and wet down to the base with red human juices.

Recently, he had changed from a crimson painted white shirt, into a more suitable black. It contrasted beautifully with his placid skin.

"I have you now, my little dove. So different you and I are, yet one of the same..." a long pale finger drew up to his lips like a warrior his battle sword. A small pink tongue tip lapped up the last of the remaining blood. How could something so vial, taste so sweet? It almost resembled strawberries....almost...

His arm returned to his side gracious and gradually, fingering a rose's flushed petals with endearment. Why or how he had acquired such a flower is not a subject to stir. But what did matter is what the blooming figure meant. Red. The colour of blood, one that any murderer or heartless beast would often enjoy at the sight. The long pine tinted stem tainted with thorns that just barely missed the white, fragile skin. He ghosted his way down the halls and past countless chambers. Their walls howling and moaning. As though his victims had been stored behind their brick casings. The man's feet tapped the floor like ballerina slippers. Barely making any, if not, no sounds at all. The windows casting an eerie blue, silver glow over the murderer. A sickening Cherise smile painted his brilliant lips.

"I'm getting away with murder..." a soft whisper licked those red lips, as he made his stride to a cramped, darkened room. Undoing the chains and bolts, he entered, more cat like and alien than human.

The chamber was no live quarters. The walls screeched in their scars of torn pieces and cuts. Bleeding in their own ominous way. But trickling into the space, a gray hue illuminated by the moon's drooling light drifted in and evanesced into the darkened corners. The man placed himself in front of the west wall, and glared up. Those scarlet eyes not once blinking or tearing away. He took out a knife, and grazed the top of his stomach, peeling away the skin into a shape...no..not a shape...a letter...

....

L

....

Carefully, and painstakingly, he pinned the removed skin on to the wall, along with its brothers. The same letters, but born in different areas. Spanning from that of the stomach, to behind his ear and tongue.

Once the flesh had been nailed to the walls, the man...Beyond Birthday, otherwise known as BB, took a collar of a large dog, and turned it inside out. The black leather wrapped around and into his thighs, the spikes digging in closer as he tightened and adjusted them for a snug fit. He stripped, leaving his body naked, the colour of freshly blessed ivory. Electrical wires and chains were to fallow. They replaced his clothing, and dressed him in their metal and cords. He latched the chains' bases to the hooks at his feet, and same for above, except for one arm. The raven haired creature took a needle, and began to bore into his flesh. Twisting and jabbing the thin steel further in. At the same time injecting himself with a homemade remedy for some incurable syndrome. Once the drug had been in place, his fist dropped the medical tool without his meaning to. Replacing and chaining his remaining hand, his lithe toes switched the button at his feet, and the electrical current surged through his veins.

They pulsed and throbbed violently.

"Ahhnnn!!!!" he pressed his bleeding tongue against the roof of his mouth. Tasting iron drip down his throat.

...13...

He could already feel himself being aroused. Pain, blood, violence, all of it released some sort of animal. One that should remain caged. Never to escape the devil's grasp in hell. All his control slipping away as the electrical current and drug continued to flow through the veins' skins. They threatened to burst right under this flushing skin.

...10....

He smiled in the agony. Laughing hoarsely deep in his throat. His fingers drew close into his palms, also drawing blood. The heat curling uncouth flesh on his wrist around the cuffs.

...7...

"Ahhhhh!!!" another scream lifted his lips, and twisted his tongue. Those canine fangs exposing under extreme torment. The area between his knees continued to pulse, and the images of his departed obsession beckoned him to lust. His stomach tightened as the sexual tension escalated. The demons one has never leave, especially under the influence of physical misery.

...4...

The chains rattled as he began to shake violently, trembling due to more than one factor. Perspiration dripped heavily off his head, down his legs and body. His lungs tried helplessly to obtain the air it so desperately needed. He clasp his red eyes shut, moaning in pain.

...1...

The drug took action, and numbed him. The electricity stopped, and every last nerve had died. His body went cold. All that was left was his cooling, sweaty form. Chained to the wall. Barely breathing, barely alive, but oh so proud of it all.

"Just a copy, Lawliet..." he wheezed. His tone catching on the edged of hysterics. "You and I...our hands are equally stained..."

* * *

review now! otherwise, ya wont know_ why_ B did that! lol, I am evil, arent i not?


	2. Dead

damnm haven't updated this in a long time! D: lol, well, i hope this makes up for all that longer than most of my fan fics, so I'm happy :) sorry theres not much BB in this chapt. there will be more, and lots for fun torture in the future. Beleive it or not, there's actually a plot here :O I made L have post traumatic stress disorder and Marfan's Syndrom :( feel pity for him! D: ...please comment!!! i loves 'em D': I'll cry if you dont!

the lyrics below are 'going under' by evanescence :) great song

Disclimer: I do not own Death Note. aw well shit... :/

* * *

"_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies_

_So I don't know what's real and what's not_

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head_

_So I can't trust myself anymore..._

_I'm going under..."_

"My sanity is my sacrifice to you, my pretty little dove..." The copy began. He wrapped a gauze bandage around his lithe waist. Hissing as the cloth clung to the recoiled flesh. Refusing to let go of its bloody bed. He wasn't trying to remove the bandage, no. He was trying to apply, but that didn't stop the unnecessary attraction of the cloth and wound. In short, it even hurt to put it on.

This night's torture had been rather pleasurable. He cut the bandage with his canines. Warily, he got to his feet, swaying with disorientation. Carefully, he padded across the room. The creature's thin frame began to tremble. Out of sadness? Pain? no. more rather, it was out of joy. Pure insanity. He threw his head back.

"KYAHAHAHAH!!!" the copy laughed hysterically. Hot, salty tears running down his pale cheeks. Colouring his gray, pale face with a single line like a marker. "KYAHAHAHAH!!! LOOK AT ME NOW LAWLIET!! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!! KYAHAHAHAH!!!" he curled his fingers into a five digit fist. Digging his nails into the palms, painting them red. "BEHOLD YOUR CREATION! YOUR MONSTER! YOUR BROTHER!!! KYAHAHAHAH!!!" he threw the blood form the moons in his palm across to the wall, splattering it with small red stars. "WAS THIS YOUR PLAN?!?! TO GO INTO HIDING AFTER MOM AND DAD DIED?! TO BLAME IT ALL ON ME?!!?" his screaming stopped, as a deep chuckle bubbled in his chest. Yes. Both Mother and Father, were dead. At who's hand? Simple. His own. Beyond Birthday, had been the cause of both of their deaths. How? He told mother to go on that train. He told father that they were out of little Lawiet's medicine and he had to go to the drug store to get more. Only to have his brain beaten the Hell out of his skull in front of both sets of eyes. One set black, the other matching the flying paint.

"I wonder Lawliet, are you still on that medication? Still have Marfan's Syndrome?" he laughed darkly. "Wonder what would've happened if I hadn't ran away that night. Wonder if I hadn't been the one who caused that fire..." the memories played in his head. Memories of all the more...painful, times of he and his twin...

* * *

_"Are you sure, hunny?" The woman looked down at her red eyed son. He was tugging on her trench coat, urging her to go ahead and out the door._

_"Yeah, those people are really interested in Lawli. But he can't go..." he let his eyes stray to the near by couch. Asleep, nestled in it's large pillows, rest a small body. Pale, sickly, and tired. "You know he never sleeps...and on top of that, he has pneumonia. He can't go, himself. But this could be really big. It could help you and daddy with the money problems." He said innocently. The men at a near by law enforcement agency wanted young Lawliet to assist them in some of their research, despite being only 7 years old. "And you know he'd want that..." The lady looked to her weak child, then back at the other, a warm smile on her face._

_"You're right..." She kissed his forehead, then made her way to the sleep consumed boy. "Lawliet?..." she asked, gently shaking his frail shoulder._

_"Mum?..." he mewled, sleepy onyx eyes meeting her gray._

_"Make sure you drink lots of water, alright? And listen to daddy, I'll be home tomorrow, I'm going to discuss the deal with Mr. Tanaka. You'll be ok if we make it, right?"_

_"Yes, mum. I would not mind if it was to help the police department...I never sleep any..waaayy" he last word stretched out in a yawn. She kissed his forehead. Laughing sweetly._

_"I love you."_

_"Love you too, mum..." he replied, and rubbed his nose in the worn, blue pillows. They smelt so fond of her perfume, a soft, clean smell. Like rain...and strawberries. The black haired woman returned to her other son, and ruffled his raven locks, bending down to meet his eye level. To meet those scarlet red eyes..._

_"Take care of him. Ok?"_

_"Yes, mum."_

_"Well, I got to go." She smiled, and stood._

_"Bye mum!" He waved childishly, an odd, unfavorable grin on his face. He had to hide the laughter, as he watched her life clock's time, rapidly decrease._

_'8 hours...the trip the the train station....41 minutes...until the other train comes in sight...and only 5 seconds...for it to crash...' The smile grew, as he turned around, and fled upstairs, getting ready to flush the rest of little Lawiet's medicine._

_(That night)_

_"Brother!" the sickly boy called out for his twin. "Brother! Please! Come here!" said boy looked up form a photo album, the time reaching zero on their mothers head._

_"Coming Lawli!" he called, too cheerful, but unable to hide his happiness any longer. He knew why the raven was screaming, why the tears poured down his pale face, why he was fearful-_

_"Mum's dead!"_

* * *

"She's dead...dead..." the now 24 year old, cradled subconsciously in his chair. Asleep for the first time in a long while. "She's dead..dead...She's dead..." he whimpered, tears falling from the corners of his black, shut eyes.

"Ryuuzaki?" a voice called out to him. But the detective didn't hear. He couldn't. All the memories clogged his sanity, they blocked out every good intention, leaving him alone in his own past. The teen's copper eyes widened, when he saw the older man's eyes. He brought in a gasp of air. "Ryuuzaki? Are you ok?" still no answer. He could see the man's hands shacking violently, and his body trembling, dripping with sweat. His chest showed strained breathing, but his muscled still tensed.

"She's dead...HE'S dead..he's dead, he's dead..." his mumbling continued, seeming more frightened now, more desperate.

"Ryuuzaki..?!" The teen grabbed hold of the raven's shoulders, shaking him. _The Hell's going on?!_ He reached for his cell phone, not knowing who else to call, he contacted the man's father figure, Watari.

"Yes, Mr. Yagami?" his friendly old voice sounded so calm compared to the now screaming L.

"Watari, I need help, some thing's wrong with L." Light's voice was almost scared.

"Yes, Sir. I'm coming." The phone hung up quickly. The teen pulled the raven into his arms, now instead trying to sooth him.

_He's like a little kid! This has to help!_

"Dead...dead...dead...dead... DEAD!" but it didn't. His hyperventilation got worse.

"Ryuzaki! Wake up already!"

"Dead! They're both dead! DEAD!" He was gasping for air now. "THEY'RE DEAD! TH-!" he stopped. Just like that. The crying raven stopped. Light, now in mortal terror, watched the raven for a moment. No breathing.

_Oh God!_

Quickly but gently, the boy lied him on the floor, and tilted his head up with his thin chin.

"Please let this work!" He pleaded, then, he placed his lips over the older man's, immediately tasting the sugary tang of his saliva. HE let his sepia eyes roll to the back of his head, loosing himself in the lips contact.

_No! Light! Get a hold of yourself!_

He began CPR on the detective's limp body. Their lips separated, as he forced pressure on the raven's thin ribcage.

"Come on L.." he repeated the process a few times, each time praying more and more that this sleeping beauty would wake. He placed his mouth over the older man's for a forth time, but before he could even breath into him, the man's pale chest heaved, as his eyes shot open. Vomit expelled it's self out of his stomach, and into Light's mouth. Both sat up, the boy coughing in disgust, and the raven struggling for air. The detective switched his gaze over to his..life savior? No. This boy wanted to take his life, not give it back. But still, his ebony, blood shot eyes showed gratitude.

"Light..I-." he gasped. Still trying to recover.

"Ryuuzaki." the familiar old man ran into the room. He held L in his lap like a small child, and thats how he saw the boy, as his son. He dragged a white handkerchief over his mouth. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Watari..Thank you, Light..." He was eased up with a gentle hand. Light watched in awe. What the Hell just happened?! Something could've been seriously wrong with the detective, and yet, the two didn't say a word about it.

"Mr. Yagami, Would you please assist me in taking Ryuuzaki to the washroom. I am sure that you yourself could you a bit of sprucing up to do.." He refured to the boy's soiled shirt, and the detective's vomit on his chin.

"Oh, yeah, sure.." He lead them both to a near by bathroom.

Light watched in the mirror, as the older man stripped down to his boxers, and got into the large, white bath tub.

_Odd, he bathes with clothes on?..._

He couldn't help but smile, as the old man soothed the detective. Like a father to a small child. The water surrounding him bubbled, and grew with mountains of foam, reaching his pale chest. He looked so much calmer after that 10 minute period between the end of the event, so the present moment. Ryuuzaki caught glimpse of Light's wondering eye, but didn't speak, but instead looked over at his guardian.

"Light, would you like to join Ryuuzaki?" The old man asked.

"No, it's ok. Hey, would you happen to have a spare shirt I may borrow?" He said, finishing brushing his teeth with a weird, strawberry like paste. He had run out, and had yet to ask Watari to run to the store for him. Seeing as the detective he remained chained to never left the building.

"Of course." The man left the room, but not without a second glance over at his 'son'.

_God, L, what happened?...._

After the detective's long bath, and a good helping of cake, the old man had lay the raven to sleep. Tucking him tightly into the white and blue faded blankets. His black eyes, slowly shut, no longer holding any tears.

Light looked over at the guardian.

"Watari?...what was that all about?..." e really wanted to know what cause this man so much fright. What was so horrible, that it made him pass out and sick to his stomach. Had it been a nightmare of Kira? Had the murderer made him _that_ scared?

"It's nothing to be concerned about, Light. It's over, and if we're lucky, that will be the last time for tonight..."

"You mean that this has happened before?"

"Yes."

"What causes it? Is there something wrong with him?" Watari glanced back as him. His gray eyes curious.

"Are you implying that you are concerned for Ryuuzaki, Light?" a blush came over the boy's face. Had that been the impression that the old man received? But was it more than an impression? Was he truly worried about the raven? He turned his gaze to the bed beside him.

The detective rest quietly. Normally insomniac, this was surely a rare sight, and, regrettably admitted, adorable. He had such a calm face. The soft glow of the nightstand tables reflecting his pale skin in a white-gold hue. Naturally black, damp locks just splayed over the pillows, wild, and feathery in appearance. His body only dressed from the waist down. Watari had given him an injection on the right side of his chest, Light had yet to figure out what the medication was. His frail body rest in the center of a sea of blankets and sheets. Wrapping him warmly, and holding him like a set of arms. Awkward, yes. Cute, sure. Beautiful...in his own way, yes. The detective was beautiful. After a long pause, Light responded.

"Yes...yes, I am..." his voice almost inaudible. But the old man caught it, and smiled. There were genuine values behind Light's voice, despite being suspected of being Kira.

"Well...I won' tell you much. I will only give away, minor details. Is that clear?" he stated, suddenly serious, protective of the delicate creature in the bed.

"yes..."

"Ryuuzaki..." he began. "Is an orphan."

_Orphaned.._

"Who would abandon Ryuuzaki?..."

"He wasn't abandoned." The man replied defensively. The thought that someone could've came up with the idea that a person would even dream of abandoning his 'son' sent him into father mode. "His family was killed."

Ho-?"

"I will not tell you..." he interrupted. Light looked down.

"...he witnessed his father's death. With his brother..."

"he has a brother?!" _Hell! He does have a family! Somebody out there must be missing him!_

_"_yes, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would keep your voice down." His gray eyes locked on the small sleeping form. "They were twins..."

"_Twins_? You mean, they look exactly the same-?"

"No." his tone had become harsher. "They are nothing...alike..."

"Oh..." Light looked down at his thumbs. Unsure what else to ask. There were so many questions. Who killed his parents? How'd they die? Was the criminal still out there? If so, why hadn't he been punished?

"Well..." The man stood, suddenly looking much older than he was. "I am afraid I must go. It is almost three o'clock, and the team will be here in a few hours. I still have security footage to scan, and snacks to prepare." He made his way to the door. "Oh, and Light?..."

"Yes?"

"Please, don't hurt Ryuuzaki. He's been through so much already..."

* * *

aw, how cute! :D I always saw Watari to be the father liek figure to L :) and the whole 'parent's dying' thing, I read the los angeles BB murder case, and If B and L are related, that's how their parents died. Their mum in a train accident, and dad at a drug store by being mugged D: (I just twisted it around in a few places to make L think it was his fault)

I figured they'd be in england at the moment, so I made them say 'mum' instead of 'mom' or 'oka-san' :) please comment! D':


	3. Counting

Sorry for the REALLY late update :( but we've just finished finals, and its been the Christmas season so i didn't have much time to write. i hope this chapter makes up for it. no BB yet, but don't worry, there will be more of his self destructive fetishes to come :) trust me. then well really get into the story. i intend for this story to be over 10 chapts so ill keep writing. i promise :) please comment!

i do not own death note, obviously :(

* * *

Monster- chapter 3:

_5....._

_I hear the drum beat._

_4...._

_I feel my own pulse._

_3..._

_I know his laughter._

_2.._

_I see the blades flying._

_1._

_The only colour I see...one colour...RED._

"NO!!!!!!!" he screamed shrilly, holding his black hair in knots against his skull. His long fingers pulled slowly each strand. One, two, three, one after the other, out of his scalp. The man's eyes were wide, and again glazed, tears spilled from them, and saliva dripped from his agape, gasping mouth. "STOP IT!! PLEASE!!!"

_"Mother, and father are dead, and all of it is your fault, Lawli-pop." Beyond laughed, skipping around the room cheerfully. "They're both dead, and its cause of you. Poor little Lawli, what are you going to do? HAHAHAHA!!!" The bright red eyed little boy continued to prance and sing the song over and over. It tormented his brother, tormented him like Hell itself had been locked away in their room, and the Devil, with the scarlet irises, had been playing a game with him._

"Ryuuzaki?!, what's wrong?" Light went over to the panicking young detective.

His black eyes flashed to the teenager.

_"SHUT UP!!!" he screamed._

"SHUT UP!!!" His fists clenched onto the boys shirt, he pulled tightly on the clothing, and planted a foot into his stomach, using that, threw him over him, and across the room.

"Ugh." he grunted, holding his injured rib cage. "Watari..." He whimpered.

_"JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!!" the boy cried, slapping his twin across the face with a table lamp. The identical being fell to the floor laughing._

"JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!!" The now 25 year old braced a table lamp in his pale hands, gripping it tightly, and smashed it across the teen's head.

"AGH!" was all he could choke out, before everything went black.

_"MOTHER AND FATHER ARE DEAD! AND YOU'RE SINGING YOUR BLOODY SWEET SONGS?! DAMN YOU! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME CAN DO SUCH A THING?! OH, THAT'S RIGHT! FUCKIN' BEYOND CAN! CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT, B?! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A MONSTER!!!"_

He screamed the exact same words, as he beat up Light like he did his brother. Throwing multiple punches to his face, clawing at his skin, and kicking the living shit out of him with muscular, yet thin legs.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKIN' DIE?! WHY BEYOND?! WHY?!"

1

One person enters the room.

2

Two seconds it took him to apprehend the fighting boy.

3

Three words said boy would never speak again: I Love You.

4

Four words he WOULD say: Damn you to Hell!

5

Five seconds later, and the detective's world also went black...

The sun rose slowly.

"Where am I?..." He grunted, standing up. Sleeping in the bed next to him, was no one. Light had been up, and around.

"You're in the infirmary room of the building, Ryuuzaki." The brown haired boy said, standing at the foot of the bed. "Tell me, what do you remember from last night?"

"..Nothing. I remember you reviving me after my....panic attack. Taking a bath, Watari giving me medication, then being put to bed....That's it."

"So you don't remember waking up screaming, throwing me across the room, then bashing me in the head with a lamp?" The man looked stunned.

"...No..No, no, no, no, no....._I _did that?...." His face was covered in dread. "My God...Things have gotten worse...." He whispered to himself, but failed. Light over heard.

"What is it, Ryuuzaki?! What's wrong with you?.." He showed genuine concern. But this boy was Kira, why would he care? The detective sat up in the bed, allowing the blanket to fall off his bandaged chest. But his arms gave out, and caused him to fall back on the mattress. "Huh?..." The boy walked to his side. "Here. Let me help you..." He placed one hand on his back, and the other firmly on his stomach.

He was warm, and boney like an anorexic girl. But his skin was white, and beautiful. Light's breath hitched, at the feel of the detective's body.

He placed the man upright against the headboard.

"Watari gave you some sedatives to calm you down, and kinda..black you out."

..

"..I see.. So, it was completely necessary for me to be sedated in order to stop me from hurting you anymore than I did." He held his head. "My God, it has never gotten this far.."

"Ryuuzaki, just tell me wha-"

"I have a _very_ extreme case of post traumatic stress disorder..." he explained.

"Well, that makes sense.." It did, the physical outburst, nightmares, lack of sleep, separation from human contact.

"Now, I must speak to Watari." He tried to stand, but fell.

"Ryuuzaki!" The boy helped him up, lifting him up from his back. He froze in horror. Carved distinctively onto the man's back, was a giant B. It was a darker colour than his skin, and was surrounded by what looked like old stab marks. "Ry- Ryuuzaki...was this from..your brother?.."

"WHO TOLD YOU?" He said cold, and venomously, turning his head. The man turned, and back handed the boy across the face.

Light stood, stunned. The raven's behavior had changed on a dime, and so extremely. He could see the hate in the man's black eyes when the word 'brother' came up. He knelled, holding a hand to the spot he had stricken.

"Don't EVER mention my brother." He spat, and walked out of the room.


End file.
